I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
she smelled like a LAN party
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
