is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
