Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
