I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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