I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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