two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
