Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
