Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
