look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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