So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
