Fuck appropriateness.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
