what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
