Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
