I think i peed on brittanys purse
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize