He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
