The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Randomize
