I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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