Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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