I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
