If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
there was a trapeze. enough said
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
