If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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