Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
