and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
