whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
