I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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