i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Randomize
