Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
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