I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
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