textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
