Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
