Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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