You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
