On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
