fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
