He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I FOUND THE LEGS
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
