Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
