you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Randomize
