She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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