Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
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