i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
