At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
