...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Randomize
