Need sex. Gaining weight.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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