afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Sex in the backyard? Check.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
