You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
