How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I love you.
Bad choice
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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