Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
