i'm signing you up for texting rehab
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
