I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
