I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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