Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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