I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
